A feeling of usefulness and worth, purpose and conviction, self-acceptance, and general contentment.
If you asked me to define self-actualization, that's probably what I'd say.
I'm fortunate enough to have been there now and again, and it's a great feeling.
Those times can be few and far between (it's an ideal to be worked towards, not a permanent state to be achieved), but when I do feel that way, there's one common denominator - service.
Put On Your Oxygen Mask First
There's an interesting aspect of the simplistic "Hierarchy of Needs" paradigm (if you're not familiar, here's a brief explanation) that supports the link between service and self-actualization.
If doing service is a form of self-actualization, I need to have my other needs met first. And as someone who hasn't always been the best at self-care, I've run into this problem head on many times.
Even if I'm drowning, I still want to help the people I'm close to, but taking time to take care of my problems seems selfish when someone else clearly needs help.
But I've been a lot more mindful and deliberate about self-care lately, and in particular, discussing it with friends has helped re-shape my mindset towards it.
I don't necessarily find dedicating time for recharging, saying no to things, or asking for help from others selfish anymore. Taken to extremes, those things can be problematic, but I find that more often than not, people are understanding, respectful, and appreciate honesty if you tell them that you need to take a moment to sort out some personal business.
And if they're not, well screw 'em.
Of course you also have to learn to communicate it better than "if they're not, well screw 'em."
Baby steps though.
Kids These Days
For a long time, I had the misconception that all service work was either done by selfless saints trying to save the world, or ruthless ladder climbers trying to build social capital.
I'd argue that that mentality was relatively logical because quite frankly, since high school I've been absolutely surrounded by ladder climbers.
Not that any of them were particularly bad people - we were all an unwilling part of the accolades arms race that was necessary to get ahead. With respect to service, the winning formula looked something like:
Volunteer 80 hours a week, play it up in college applications, and get into a top school
I've been reflecting on this more lately since my brother recently graduated from the same high school I did, and things haven't changed - in fact, they've really only gotten worse.
But of course it doesn't stop in high school. Once you get into that top college, you're likely at a school full of high school valedictorians. Statistically, on a bell curve for any metric, half of them are below average and the level of competition gets exponentially higher. Now the winning formula looks like:
Study abroad and save the world, charter a new superficial service organizations on campus, pad your resume with enough self-designed leadership positions, and get into top Med/Law/Grad school or go for gold and land that job at Goldman Sachs
Then you can finally forget about all that nonsense service work and just make mountains of money.
The Wrong Service is a Disservice
Forcing kids to do service work to get ahead in the world might not sound like the worst idea in the world. There are by far worse ideas, like snuggies, and investing in Theranos.
But it can easily backfire. Placing a burden on someone to put in extra work (remember, school is a full-time job) towards something they're not passionate about is a recipe for breeding resentment, or at least indifference, towards it.
I volunteered at my local public library in high school, not because I was wild about books or felt particularly passionate about the Dewey Decimal System, but because it's what most of the other kids I knew were doing to pencil in the service component of their college applications. And as you might imagine, I hated every minute of it.
But it's not like I hated the institution - public libraries are wonderful, and the Westbank Library system has an excellent collection of DVDs. And allegedly books too.
I think that a lot of my resentment towards the commitment had less to do with what the work it involved than with what the work didn't involve - namely, anything I was interested in or exceptionally good at.
But what if, instead of rote tasks like organizing books, we pushed ourselves (and our kids) to do something good with the skills we pride ourselves on?
A note here - I'm still thinking about the value of doing rote work for its own sake. The bottom line is that someone DOES have to get it done, and an article I read on "low-skilled labor" gives me pause on this. I think my knee-jerk answer is that if someone's doing work for another person or company's benefit, it's within their rights to ask for compensation.
Show to Tell to Sell
When I fell in love with photography three years into college I didn't ever expect it to be anything more than a foray into visual art. But strong images are one of the most compelling assets to any persuasive campaign.
Whether you're trying to sell a multi-million dollar apartment in NYC or used (whoops, in sales we call there "certified pre-owned") socks on Craigslist, if you want to be successful, you need good images.
This applies broadly beyond sales too - political campaigns, news reporting, and even showing off to your ex on social media requires solid image assets.
Of course it doesn't have to be done through images if you have near infinite resources - the Girl Scouts are perhaps the finest example of this - there are millions of them, they hunt you down, and you just can't say no to kids selling cookies.
But if you can't bring your client to the product, or your product to the client, images are the next best thing.
So if you're a photographer, you have the incredible gift of being able to give something a voice and share it with people that might need it.
Or perhaps share something that needs help with people that might be able to help.
Puppies
Austin Pets Alive! (the exclamation point is actually a part of their name, it drives me nuts) is a no-kill animal shelter in my hometown, Austin, Texas. They're able to keep up with demand for animal housing through a strong network of foster families, but eventually these dogs (and cats) need to find a forever-home.
Good photos make a huge difference in increasing adoption rates, and they really resonate with people. Just look at social media pages with hundreds of thousands of followers, like Susie's Senior Dogs (warning, cuteness overload).
So when I was given the opportunity to shoot images of the dogs at APA!, it was a no brainer. I didn't even think of it as service work.
Hell, I didn't even think of it as work - I was literally running around with dogs and cameras, getting amazing, vivacious images relatively effortlessly because these little fur babies were just so photogenic.
For the adoption images though, I wanted to tell more of a story than a snapshot of a dog at play, so I opted to take the images while they were in their cages. Take a look:
Most of them were pit-bull mixes with huge, beautiful, soulful eyes that just made your heart melt. I aimed to make sure I didn't cut these out in the chain-links.
I kept the exposures on the high side because going too dark made them seem too much like those intentionally depressing commercials you see that try and guilt you into donating money.
I think the brightness adds an element of hope to the images, and also really brings their facial expressions to life. I kept the depth of field thin to make the dogs the clear focal point of the image, but left enough in focus to provide context - what is referred to as an "environmental portrait."
And even though this meant taking time out of my day to come and do work for free, it didn't feel anything like volunteering at the library.
Even as a small project, it made me feel useful and of value to others. It also gave me a purpose and allowed me to use the skills I'm most proud of to further it with creative freedom. And finally, it made me feel good about myself and alright with my place in the world.
It's amazing how empowering it is to be able to tell yourself that you've done one good thing today.
I compare myself to others making more money, getting more prestigious awards and positions, and advancing faster in their careers far too often, but when I do that one good thing, it reminds me that I am worthy of my own place in the world and can make a difference in a few lives close to me by doing the things that I'm good at.
Rewards - money, power, prestige, etc. - can be taken away, but the knowledge that you may have made a difference in the life of others can't be. That's why I think that the right kind of service work is just as good for you as it is for the people/puppies you're trying to help.
So you, the reader, are among my many talented friends, and surely have some skill that you can use for good. If you've already done so, what did that look like? If you haven't what do you think you could do?
If you say "nothing" I'm going to e-smack you, because we both know you're talented.
Excited to hear what you have to say!
Much love,
Arnab
A huge note here - as I said before, it's hard to be of help to others around you if you're struggling yourself, and self-care is just as valuable as a form of service work because it puts you in the best position to be of the greatest help when you're needed. If you're struggling and want to talk about it, reach out and let me know <3